How did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?

I am 26 years old and have known my husband for the last 10 years, been married for 3. We have a healthy happy marriage and we are very close to our families as well. Especially me. I have become increasingly attached to my husband and family that I have started getting a fear of losing them and what it might do to me. I have not lost my mind and still continue to function normally. I do not work, therefore have very little to fill my time - except for spending it with either my husband (who works from home) or my mom.

We want to have kids and I don't know how this will change things. Will it make me less obsessed about my husband and family? mainly because I wont have much free time..I really think that I will make a good mother and my husband adores kids...will this make me a better and stronger person?

My husband was my first and only love and I dont know any other life.

Has anyone else gone through this?...and did it help to make you a better person?How did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
Both my husband and I miss the days before we had a baby... we had so much free time!! The house was actually clean.. we actually got sleep.. we had time to play video games whenever we wanted and do whatever we wanted like go to partys and be spontaneous. We both got a lot more exercise because we had time to kill, our love life was great. I had time to do hobbies like painting and learning guitar. I also stay at home. I used to beat myself up for it, because I felt like I wasnt contributing enough.. outsiders called me lazy. My life was free, but it also felt like something was missing. Life was just sort of empty. Then I pregnant unexpectedly. I never thought about being a mom before and I didn't even like babies. but as soon as I found out, I spent hours and hours researching mothering and all that stuff, it became my whole life. My son is 10 months old now. I still love the rest of my family just as much. you don't lose your love for anyone, your heart just gets bigger and you have a larger capacity to love than ever before. I still cant get enough of my husband, but I love my son more than I ever thought possible. He has pretty much ruined my life, by taking away all of my free time, but at the same time, I have a purpose now. My life feels more complete, and its a joy to watch him grow up. Basically, my husband and I are just trying to survive these baby years. Its really hard! I wouldn't trade my son for anything and Im so glad I know him, but honestly, it sucks being tired all the time and having a messy house and not having time to be romantic anymore. Being pregnant was hell, giving birth felt like I was literally in hell, and now my body is NOTHING like what it was pre-baby. you cant have sex for a while after having the baby, and hormonally you wont enjoy sex for months either. (I still don't have a sex drive.) My life is all about waiting for my husband to come home so he can take the baby of my hands for a little while and his life is all about finding enough time to sleep before he has to go back to work. My husband doesnt put any energy into being thoughtful or romantic anymore, so I feel like he loves me less but really he's just tired. I don't have the energy to clean the house much anymore, I just feel like Im tapped dry. A big reason for my burn out though is we dont live near our family. we dont have the grandparents around to babysit for an afternoon or weekend, and I know that if we did, things would be a LOT easier. But we just never get time to recharge our batteries. I'm excited for when he gets older and can be more independent so we can get a little more free time. and while I'm at it, can I recommend the best place ever online? mothering.com/discussions is a forum that changed my life. You would be welcome there to ask them any questions and browse the topics to learn lots of things you've never heard of before. It has taught me so much.



I think that all trials and tribulations make us better people. you've heard the saying whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger, right? I think that's true here. Being a parent is about being selfless. you give up everything for your kids because they become the most important thing in your life. I think we should always put our spouses first of course, but your kids come before your own self. So, while Im still adjusting to this whole parenting thing, I think its making me a better wiser person. I think us women are meant to be mothers, I think that while it will be hard, for sure, you will be more complete. best of luck gotta run baby's crying ;)How did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
Having a baby to look after makes all your relationships change. It made for a strain in the relationship between me and my partners family, because they all drink and smoke, and I dont and never have. They think nothing of smoking in the same room as baby, or picking her up whilst barely able to stand themselves. They are also used to passing their kids round to all members of the family and dont have any qualms about leaving them with their friends to look after or taking them on trips they havent agreed with the parent etc. When I say I will look after someones kid, I stay at home and look after them. Not leave them with a friend their parents have never met or even heard of before, or take an overnight trip to see distant relatives and take the kid with me without asking!

So just be aware they may try and take over, disagree agressively with what you want to do for your child, and it will change your relationship with them. As for your husband, he will have to get used to your time not being solely his, having lots of noise at home, meals disrupted or not happening at all etc. If he is working and you are not, be prepared for it to be considered your SOLE responsibility to care for the child, as your husband already has his time occupied.

You dont sound very able, emotionally, to stand up for yourself against them should you encounter any problems. Also you dont get out on your own, how will you manage to entertain the child and take it out places without one of the family to hold your hand? Maybe you'd best tackle this dependance first before you add an extra, massive, emotional complication for yourself. I wouldnt advise anyone with emotional issues to try and cure or bolster them by having kids.How did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
boy yes it did

sleeping for 8 hours was now a thing of the past

going out for romantic meals or going clubbing all came to a stop

you can no longer do what you want as the babys needs are greater

hey but i wouldt change my girl for the world realy i wouldt

been a daddy is great a little person who looks up to youHow did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
Yes having kids will def make you less obsessed with your hubby. I suggest that you have a chidHow did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
Having a baby was the best thing for me and my husband. It was so boring just me and him sometimes. I think I used to start arguments just to liven up the place. For some people, having a child changes things drastically in a bad way, because you have a little person to now care for 24/7. You can't return a child, so make sure it is what you really want. For others like me it was the best joy and happiness I could have ever imagined!How did having a baby change your relationship with your husband and family?
When you have babies, they'll wake up all hours of the night crying and needing to be fed, burped, diapers changed, etc. Then you'll go through the teething process where they'll cry and be real fussy. Oh and don't forget that they may be colicky and you'll be walking the floors with them. And you'll lose lots of sleep. Yeah things will change alright....