How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we've got a 5mnth old baby and I'm exhausted.?

Don%26039;t get me wrong, he does help me, I%26039;m not saying he doesn%26039;t, but I need more than what I%26039;m getting. My hubby works shifts and long hours doing physical work and when he gets home he%26039;s exhausted himself. When it%26039;s his weekend off I try to let him relax and rest. He helps me in the sense if dinner isn%26039;t cooked by the time he gets home, he%26039;ll most often help cook dinner. He also helps me by washing and serilizing babys bottles.



I work myself, and have a normal 8am-5pm office job. I just feel exhausted! We can%26039;t afford to get a maid.



I wake up to baby crying around 4am every morning and from there it%26039;s.............feed baby, burp baby, change baby and put him to sleep. By that time it%26039;s 5am, then I have to get up and prepare his bag for the daycare, get myself ready for work and then by that time it%26039;s 6:30am. From there it%26039;s time to drop him off and then it%26039;s off to work. After being stuck in traffic for a while I arrive at work roughly 15mins early. Then it%26039;s work all day. After work, go fetch baby. Once we finally get home I spend half an hour to an hour playing with him. Then it%26039;s baby%26039;s bath time, feeding time..........by now it%26039;s 7pm.



By this time I want to pass out I%26039;m sooooo tired.



If baby is asleep then it%26039;s time to cook, do washing and try clean up a bit. I%26039;m physically and emotionally drained and exhausted. By the time this is all finnished it%26039;s roughly 10:30pm!



My husband wakes up at 5am and leaves for work at 5:45am......he takes the train to work which takes a hour and starts at 7am. He finnishes at 5pm and only arrives home at 6pm.



Am I being unfair to ask for more help? I spoke to him and told him I%26039;m not coping and he%26039;s trying to help me a bit more but as ugly as it sounds............It%26039;s not enough. What do I do?How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
This is exactly the reason why I decided not to go back to work - it%26039;s just too much stress and just not worth it at the end of the day.



Originally when I was pregnant we had planned for me to go back to work when my bub was 6months old but plans changed once the reality of looking after a baby set in.



We decided to just let go of the material things that we were using as the excuse for us putting him in daycare.



We sold up our house and are now renting a smaller cheaper place. When our child is older and at school then I will go back to work and we will start again with the home ownership. We%26039;re saving on all that expensive daycare fees and I am better rested and able to cope with looking after my son - and it is a fulltime job! And I am also able to handle the house work and cooking. In the meantime I am enjoying being home with him, these are magical years and you%26039;ll never get them back - what a shame to miss out on them because you%26039;re so exhausted.



Perhaps you could at least cut back to part time work?



Unfortunately the answer to our problems is not alwaysthe ones we want to hear.



Best of luck.How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
Ok, you%26039;ve succeeded in the hardest part already--he%26039;s TRYING to help. Men need specific instructions and you will have to accept that it%26039;s not going to be done the way that you do--but nonetheless--it%26039;s help. Don%26039;t try to take on so much in 1 day. Try putting the baby to bed a little later--if you want to get more sleep inthe morning. Pack the bag the night before. Let your husband give the baby a bath and don%26039;t feel like you have to bath the baby every single night--overbathing can result in dry skin. Can you have your husband feed the baby, he can do that and watch TV at the same time. As far as cooking--get something easy, don%26039;t make a full course dinner everynight and learn to love leftovers. Also, the housework isn%26039;t going anywhere--so save it for the weekend, when you have time to devote to it. Give yourself a night off. One night a week is you time, go shopping, do anything but be at home. This will give your husband some bonding time with the baby. As women we often take on more than we can handle, but we%26039;re great multi-taskers. We were taught by our families to be the homemaker, but in today%26039;s world it takes 2 incomes to survive most of the time. I can completely relate to what you%26039;re experiencing and it took some counseling to be able to give you an answer to your question. And let me tell you once in awhile my husband still needs a reminder--it%26039;s just men. I also found that putting out more frequently, even if I%26039;m dog tired, seems to be a great motivator for my husband helping out. Good luck. It will get better if you have a positive attitude, my kids are 6 and 8 and my 8 year old had the worst case of colic that 3 pediatricians told me they had ever seen. The 8 year old is still alive, so is my husband and my 6 year old was the best baby ever. You will get through this, you%26039;ve got to give yourself a break and I%26039;m sure your husband will give that to you, but you have to tell him, otherwise he will just go forward as he is now. You can do it!!!How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
Its sounds like you both have too much to cope with, its such a shame you both have to work - I%26039;m presuming you do? Is there any way you can cut your hours? Or take on another position?

It sounds like your husband is trying his best but you%26039;re both struggling.

Try and cut back a little on stuff. The world wont end if all the washing up isnt done, have a takeaway now and again, and maybe try and have a %26039;date night%26039; once a month so someone can look after baby and you can have some adult time.

Good luck!



P.S Just saw the frozen food idea above - great idea!!How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
talk to him and do division of labor. even if your both tired its our responsibiity as parents to take care of everything...How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
some guys help some guys don%26039;t unfortunately you got the guy who doesn%26039;t. i feel for you i know how hard i can be.How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
You need a list - its the only way to help him understand the sheer volumes of what needs to be done.

Write it together and agree on the frequency eg: sterilize bottles daily, vacuum fortnightly etc etc and agree of who is responsible for what.

The other thing you can do is on his weekend off tell him you need 2 hours without him and baby - they can go for a walk or something. Spend this time making meals eg: lasagna, risotto, chicken/vege pie etc that you can freeze. Make enough for 2 weeks then take one out the fridge each morning so you have dinner ready when you get home.

How can I get my husband to help more around the house, we%26039;ve got a 5mnth old baby and I%26039;m exhausted.?
it is not going to get any better, my daughter is 6 and i done everything for her and i have a husband.